Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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