"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
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