So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
