dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
