shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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