It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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