craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
