You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
