don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
