No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
