I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Randomize
