I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Terrible idea I love it
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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