ya dads aren't the best wingmen
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
