Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
