Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
