Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
