YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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