hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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