Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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