I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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