We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
