found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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