I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
