I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
