he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Randomize
