5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
