Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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