dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
