i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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