There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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