Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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