A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
