Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
