the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
You left your phone here
Wait...
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
