honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
