I am spending my child support on dildos
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
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Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
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Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
We need to get me chipped asap
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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