halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
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We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
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Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
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