Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
