Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
