DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
