bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
where does the pee come out of this thing
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
