I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
