I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
this hospital has no fireball
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
