Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
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How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?