I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0