It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes