Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
23 Struggles Kids These Days Will Never Know
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.