Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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