Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
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I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
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I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
And then the night went full on bisexual.