so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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