Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(612): View more from Minnesota

Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.

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(612): Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever. http://tfl.nu/d9v5

Replies (8) Good night (3223) Bad night (875)
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(504): View more from Louisiana

I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.

(504): View more from Louisiana

Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER

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(504): I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging. (504): Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER http://tfl.nu/kpd3

Replies (38) Good night (6253) Bad night (800)
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(207): View more from Maine

I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well

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(207): I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well http://tfl.nu/bwmv

Replies (42) Good night (1091) Bad night (6547)
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(214): View more from Texas

What do you think it is?

(615): View more from Tennessee

It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.

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(214): What do you think it is? (615): It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow. http://tfl.nu/3ng4

Replies (12) Good night (5284) Bad night (1822)
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(713): View more from Texas

I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.

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(713): I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well. http://tfl.nu/o2ii

Replies (4) Good night (1628) Bad night (605)
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(660): View more from Missouri

what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?

(816): View more from Missouri

um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan

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(660): what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate? (816): um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan http://tfl.nu/0tla

Replies (11) Good night (8032) Bad night (1238)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.

(717): View more from Pennsylvania

OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.

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(717): Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea. (717): OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED. http://tfl.nu/n4s9

Replies (7) Good night (3443) Bad night (962)
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(507): View more from Minnesota

we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine

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(507): we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine http://tfl.nu/vvgu

Replies (7) Good night (2406) Bad night (759)
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(408): View more from California

I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.

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(408): I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate. http://tfl.nu/p4ru

Replies (9) Good night (1174) Bad night (692)
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(914): View more from New York

You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.

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(914): You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking. http://tfl.nu/b0zf

Replies (1) Good night (809) Bad night (559)
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(260): View more from Indiana

as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...

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(260): as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is... http://tfl.nu/earv

Replies (16) Good night (855) Bad night (1399)
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(310): View more from California

Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...

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(310): Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right... http://tfl.nu/uva3

Replies (0) Good night (668) Bad night (657)
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(585): View more from New York

Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you

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(585): Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you http://tfl.nu/q75w

Replies (6) Good night (400) Bad night (823)
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(331): View more from Illinois

Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!

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(331): Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws! http://tfl.nu/1f2r

Replies (0) Good night (561) Bad night (311)
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(618): View more from Illinois

He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....

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(618): He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us.... http://tfl.nu/v0bn

Replies (1) Good night (300) Bad night (207)

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