You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner