office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.