he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
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Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
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Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase