respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Randomize
