i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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