The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
