You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
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