belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
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