words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Randomize