When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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