Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
