Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
