Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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