Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
