Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
