Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Randomize
