super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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