he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I have already put on my inside pants.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Randomize
