last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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