Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
