another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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