first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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