Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
