I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
