Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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